Have an Austin Criminal Defense Attorney in Your NFT Wallet.
You can now retain me (Charlie Roadman) as your Austin criminal defense lawyer by purchasing my NFT on Opensea. The retainer lasts for three years from the date of purchase.
Why would someone do that?
Well, I admit, not everyone will see the value in paying in advance for legal service that may never be needed. However, some people will find comfort in knowing that I will be available to help immediately if something unexpected happens. It is the same concept as insurance, of course. You will also be the owner of the lovely digital artwork .gif NFT that my daughter designed.
What types of situations would this be good for?
Maybe your child is going to be a freshman at UT and you’re worried about his/her/their ability to make good decisions? Or, maybe you have a bad feeling about the behavior of your mother-in-law? It can be for anything, really.
Can’t I just hire you when I need you?
Of course. However, even though we respond quickly when we are contacted by people who need help, there is always an unavoidable delay while we learn who you are, what you need, and exchange the retainer fee. If I am already on retainer, I am able to get to work immediately.
Does it include getting me out of Travis County jail?
It includes me doing my best to get you out of jail as fast as possible. I’ve been getting people out of jail for 18+ years, so I’m really good at it. But without knowing the circumstances of your hypothetical arrest, I cannot guarantee that I can get you out immediately. I will, however, start working on it right away.
Can I use the NFT retainer for someone else?
Absolutely. The owner of the NFT can ask me to help anyone they choose.
I doubt I’ll get in trouble in three years.
Yeah, I hear you. Almost none of my clients expected to get arrested. Here’s a simple question that will help determine the possibility of a future arrest: Do you (or anyone you love) ever drink alcohol? If “yes”, then the odds of getting arrested are above zero. If “no”, then you probably don’t need this NFT.
What are the terms of the NFT legal retainer?
The terms are included in the description of the NFT on Opensea: The purchase of this NFT creates a legal (non-refundable & non-transferable) retainer agreement with Austin criminal defense attorney, Charlie Roadman, for 3 years from date of purchase. As a retained attorney, Charlie will promptly advise the NFT owner on any Travis County criminal matter that occurs (for you or anyone you choose), including securing Travis County jail release via personal bond (if possible) and guiding the initial phase of criminal defense. The NFT will include Charlie’s cell phone number and the option to schedule a “get-to-know-each-other” phone conversation. This retainer does not include full representation on a criminal case nor does it obligate the owner to hire Charlie for the case. If Charlie is not the best lawyer to handle the criminal case, Charlie will give you the name(s) of attorneys he thinks are the best choice. This retainer agreement is for a reasonable amount of legal work (approx. 5 hours total), for criminal issues in Travis County, Texas, is only good for lawful purposes, and is void if abused.
How will I know when I’ve used the 5 hours of the retainer?
I will keep track of the time.
Can I ask you about any legal issue?
Yes, but if the issue is not related to a Travis County criminal case, then I cannot guarantee that I’ll have an answer. If I can’t help, I will help you find the right attorney.
Can I sell this NFT to someone else?
Yes, but the legal retainer does not transfer. You would only be selling the digital NFT file/artwork.
Could I make this arrangement with you without having to buy the NFT?
Sure.
If I own this NFT can I be more reckless in my behavior?
Oh boy. Please, no. Being arrested is terrible. Having a good defense attorney doesn’t make it painless.
Will you help me plan a crime?
While I would definitely be a very valuable member of a criminal conspiracy, I will not help anyone commit a crime.
Why did you make this NFT?
Because I am interested in the combination of art, contracts, and blockchain.
Are you going to make more NFTs?
Yes. My next NFT will be a legal retainer to monitor your Texas driver’s license for any unexpected suspensions for a three year period. The retainer will also include my advice on resolving any issues.
